Coz i'm in a random mood today! The very first Aunt Agony Sherry letter Aunt Sherry received.
SO KIDS, IF U'RE HAVING SCHOOL PROBLEMS, remember to find Aunt Agony Sherry! SHe's a Fairy! haha!
(A LOVE LETTER TO AUNT AGONY SHERRY.)
Hi Aunt Agony Sherry.
My name is Hum Jun Peng, don’t you think that my name is really cool?
My parents have decided to name me Hum Jun Peng coz they tot it’s a really unique name. Most people call me Jun Peng, actually…I prefer them to call me just Peng, coz i guess it sounds more friendly lor. My parents call me Ah Peng, So in actually fact I’ve got quite a lot of names lah.. Stylo Milo or not sia? But sometimes people hear wrongly then they call me ah beng lorx. But I’m a girl lah, so I quite bu Shuang lorx.
Anyway..i’ve got this mind-blowing issue here. Whole day Whole night make me cannot sleep one lorx!
I’m actually a student taking my Final Year Project this year, but you know, I can’t concentrate properly becoz of my boyfriend, okay let’s name him X, every-day
I would be really emo about it one lor, sometimes I go to the beach there and I remember the days when we fold paper swans and play ping pong ball with balloons.
You noe hor, X is like the core of my life, he’s like my other half. You know when people dun have their other halves they would slowly die that kind one lorx.
When I’m with him, my heart is filled with butterflies, you know like in the very sweet show called ‘’Titanic’’? Like..’’I’m flying…I’m flying.’’…..I always feel that way when I’m with him one lorx. Like as if I’m flying high up in the skies and floating together with the birds. Or u remember the Huan Zhu ge ge show? ‘’You are the sand...i’m the wind. Sand and wind…together..float together high up?’’ Aiyah..anyway..describe to u also no use one lah. Who would understand our love for each other??????????? Hai…………….sob sob.
How ah? I want him back leh…..but he’s fallen in love with this stupid peach by the name of, okay lah..let’s juz call her Y lorx. Aiyah…u noe it’s quite true u noe..the very famous song ‘’Tong Hua’’..it’s true that hor..in this world no true love one…
Okay..but my love for Y is really sincere one wor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh no! Now I’ve got like X and Y mixed up! You see..i’m in such a confused state of mind that I forget which is X and which is Y already. That’s y I really need ur help one lorx. Hehehe. there u see below! I am imagining the ''i'm flying i'm flying'' rite now.....it's such a magical feeling!!!!! sometimes i got wish to be like Aladdin and his princess, fly high high up the sky into a magical worlddddddd.....then got Alibaba grant ur wishes somemore! hai....so sad...real life not like that one!
Anyway..that Peach hor, whole day whole nite go and pester my lao gong leh, it’s like hor…she damn slut lorx. Always say things to por him one seh. Sometimes I juz feel like burning her to death lorx. I don’t think she very chio wad? You know how come X like her or not huh? I mean..it’s like she’s there’s really nutting good about her one lorx!!!!!!!!! Now they whole day whole nite go out together also Bo Jio me!!!!!!!! I damn angry lorx. So now when I got nutting to do I just spend my whole time taking neo-prints of myself lorx. Coz got no hubby wad. So I take solo pics of myself lorx. Not I act-chio lah, but I jus wanna pass time without my hubby around lorx. Without him, I feel very lost lorx. Coz like I always tell u one lah, he is my other half wad.
Can u help me with my porbem? And tell me how to get him back? Coz I really wanna concentrate on my study lorx. I think I’m really going siao leh! Yesterday I just attempted to put my head in the micro-oven. I don’t know wad I’m thinking lorx!!!!!!!!!!!!! How sia?
-Confusedflyingpinkprincess, aka Hum Jun Peng-
Auntagony Sherry replies:
Dear Miss Hum,
I can genuinely understand the confusion in your mind now as u’re writing to me.
I do agree with you very much that your name is really cool. I think your parents have been brilliant to name you that way. Something great must have inspired them to label you as such.
I’m very glad that you wrote to me because I genuinely believe that your situation is indeed something very nerve wrecking. However, I feel that what’s most important in your life now is your school work, and not your boyfriend. It’s your final year now, hence I would glady advise that you should throw him away and concentrate on what you’re doing now. After-all, there are many other good looking guys who could enable your heart to ‘’have butterflies’’ around. Well, I don’t really have the answer as to why your boyfren doesn’t like you anymore, but if he’s sick of you, you should just get yourself a new one, before he actually tells it to your face that he’s sick of you. I don’t mean to sound commanding, I’m just trying to help you with your very grave situation here. I hope you understand.
About him not bringing you out with his ‘’new-target’’, it’s because it’s actually general knowledge that when a guy wants to cheat, he would not bring his current girlfriend along. I’m quite awed that you do not understand this very basic technique in cheating. You got to understand that and accept it as a fact. I suggest that you can prepare a bucket of rotten eggs and tail him all day and all night, before the workload of your final year project increases. You must take your sweet revenge before it, as, I believe that every human being and race have the perogative to be happy and give their full attention to what’s really important. Not that I think that your hubby is not important. Oh..well…it was just an opinion so you can choose to take it or leave it.
I believe that you’re a very smart gal, maybe a little confused and disturbed though.
However, you can always drop me a mail at trying_to_be_pretty_aunt_agony@hotmail.com if you need further instructions.
Alternatively, you can precede by calling the Institute of Mental Hospital.
I'm very sure that they would be glad to help you with ur current grave situation.
-Always there for you-
Aunt Agony Sherry.
