My Way - Limpbizkit
Credits: Image grabbed from http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2221312512/tt1001508.
( sorry for the pixelated images! )
Btw, the movie He's Just not that into you is great! I like the straight-forwardness of some of the characters in the movie! And it's really awfully farniie!!!!!hahaha! Actually it's true man, life is pretty straightforward; it seems complicated because people speculate and think too much. Yeah, sometimes i speculate and think too much too. And there were many a times when I've been accused of being insensitive! I'm learning to be a more sensitive individual as I grow older! haha! Hanhui, Jan, and I caught it together.
Recently i bought 2 books that made me think about MY LIFE! HAHAHA!
Alright, since I was on MC about like 4 days ago...
for a day, I spent that day reading this CHICK FLICK book.
I KNOW IT'S SOOO NOT ME...
My favourite type of books are usually Mystery books or Graphic books.
That novel reminded me that i'm young. ( still young...though not like 18 or 19 anymore!),
and that I should cherish my youth, be happy! and that i should WORRY LESS! HAHAHAHA!
Haven i mentioned that i can only wear corsets, frilly skirts and tube tops when i'm like young! 10 years down the road, i'd be too embarrassed to wear them already!
Hence that's y, i just ignore people with criticisms about my dress-sense and all.
I mean like, IF YOU DON'T WEAR SUCH CLOTHES NOW, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO WEAR THEM?! HAHAHA! I don't wanna look back at myself and go like ''i wished i was more interesting, more carefree and less boring when I was younger!'' I'm individualistic. I'm me. I'm Sherry. I don't like it when I'm not living life for myself.
I don't like it when people ask me to change everything about myself when they're hanging out with me. Then again, I wonder why they are even hanging out with me, if they wanna change so many things about me. I WANNA SAY THAT I WON'T CHANGE FOR ANYONE. I WOULD ONLY CHANGE IF IT'S FOR THE BETTERMENT OF MYSELF. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT. DON'T HANG OUT WITH ME. I DON'T OWE U ANYTHING. I'M NOT OBLIGATED TO LISTEN TO YOU. AND I'M NOT GOING TO APOLOGIZE FOR MY ''ATTITUDE''. MY LEVEL OF PATIENCE IS GETTING LOWER. ENOUGH SAID. JUST LIKE IF ONE THINKS THAT I'M DUMB.
I DON'T SEE WHY SHOULD I DELIBERATELY SAY THINGS TO PROVE ANYTHING. I MEAN LIKE, WHAT'S THE POINT OF MAKING MYSELF SO MISERABLE SERIOUSLY? THEN WELL, IF ONE THINKS THAT I'M DUMB, JUST STOP TALKING TO ME LAH. I DON'T WANNA PROVE ANYTHING OR WAD. I DON'T SEE ANY VALUE IN THAT. I DON'T WANNA SPEND MY WHOLE LIFE PROVING THINGS, MODIFYING MYSELF FOR PEOPLE.
I NEED TO LIVE FOR MYSELF.
I've got enough stress from work, i don't need more unnecessary stress about little trivial stuff.I'm not perfect, i'm not a goddess, so it's normal that I have more my own flaws too. If you don't like, jolly well just get a life-size barbie doll, or a Madame Tussauds supermodel doll and hang out with her. Bloody hell! Seriously. Hey, actually sometimes i feel like shouting, ''hey grow up man! bloody hell!'' haha!
The second book, on a more serious note, tells me that I should open up my options wide for career. I'm glad my mum adviced me to work first, before i straight-away plunge into pursuing further studies for design.
When I got into design school, I was damn passionate about design, more so during year 2, and school allowed us to be very creative and all.
But in the industry, usually corporate layouts are standardized, and you definitely gotta rush to do all things at one go. More often than not, you must work on different projects all at the same time. And sometimes when you're given last minute work to do, you have to complete them, if not you just can't go back. I hate my personality for hating anything that looks ugly. Hence, i can't sleep if what i've created looks ugly to me. YES. BY NOW YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT I'M A VERY ''AESTHETICS'' based person! haha! I'm not a very ''corporate'' person, it's really quite obvious from my personality. But corporate works are definitely more in demand as compared to fine arts, hence i gotta learn to get used to them.Better get used to them really fast too.
Though i face a lot of stress at work, because i'm juggling marketing, sales,telemarketing, copyrighting, as well as graphic design work altogether, i feel that this would allow me to see for myself what I do best when I'm being put under immense stress. Yes, the truth is i'm struggling and there were many a times that i felt like screaming and just throw things around, at times i felt really really lost and i felt that i need AIR or sth. But, i guess it's only when you go out of your comfort zone to do things that are challenging alone, then you would learn to do them well through ''learning the hard way.'' Like in the past, i used to be afraid of vectors, hence i confronted my ''fear'' many times, ( practising vectors like mad! When i had nothing to do, i just kept practising drawing vectors with the mouse and stylus!) and then, now vectors are my fav, I can't live without them. I've learnt a lot about business from the industry.
And I personally saw for myself what society values most.
And what is the most pragmatic career path.
I've concluded.
If i wanna continue with a pure design-based career, i might think it would be better to work overseas. They value design more, appear to accept unpredictable, daring and unconventional designs, and appear to respect designers. If I wanna continue with a pure design-based career, I must be prepared to work very long hours too and say bye to my social life, which i Did many times. remember?
If i'm gonna do marketing and sales, this career path ( marketing and sales ) is extremely practical and it can feed you very very well IF YOU PERFOM. Sometimes, they have commission schemes that are very attractive. It makes me extremely motivated to work hard. Like the other time, i took up some for-fun telesales job, and the commission was good. The commission from part time credit card sales for banks were great too. ( but i don't think the situation is good now. ) And I don't really have to work long hours for this. Only have to make use of my mouth to talk talk talk. hahaha! But then, my skin gotta remain thick forever in this job.
hahahah!
Sometimes you really like something a lot, just like I really really like design, and you really have the fire and passion in you for that, but one must always learn to be practical....
Hence i'm just thinking. and thinking and thinking.
