If you notice, I don't quite like to share too much about my personal life and problems in writing,
because whatever i say might be used against me in near-future or future. Nobody is going to pity anyone for that. And people who don't like you might use those words to exacerbate your condition or state. People who don't like you are opportunists who love to watch you suffer and would jump at any chance to make you suffer.
We come into the world, we study, we work and live, we die, and nobody owns us a living for anything. God gave us abilities, hands, legs, and brains to fight for whatever we think is worth to fight for in our lives. And we only live once. So I believe in making the most out of it.
Sometimes we take a gamble at things, and we realise not only we don't win, we wasted so much time and effort on those gambles, hoping that we would win something, or sometimes at least a draw, but we did not. Sometimes we might even be close to losing our minds even. Sometimes after those gambles we look at ourselves and laughed at how silly we were, and what jokers we were. It's like doing business, not only, we don't have a profit margin, we might suffer from an obscene budget deficit. We learn from them as lessons and emerged as more meticulous individuals, smarter individuals.
We can't blame anyone for wrong decisions we've made because no one used a gun to force us to make any decisions that they favour. At the end of the day, when anything goes wrong, people would start pointing fingers at you. When things go right, they have nothing else to say.
In fact, sometimes they act like they're even part of the plan when initially they were outright against it, or sometimes they even emulate your ideas after knowing that they're proven to be good. I don't want to prove anything to anyone. I just need to prove things to myself and meet my own expectations of myself.
I don't want to care about people who start judging me, what matters most is what I think of myself, and not their judgment of me. I haven't met my own expectations of myself yet, but i'm doing what i can to improve myself, my skills, my appearance, the way i carry myself.
And I always believe that I have my own direction in life, and I know what I want and I'm very stubborn in my own believes and values.
But there are certain things that i could say, like what i value in life....
I figured out what I value in life and what are my priorities. Because i don't want to take life for granted, and I gotta write down, now, the things that matter to me, to keep me more focused. Because I realize that I'm losing my focus and moving away from my individualism and personal identity.
1. HEALTH
2. PEACE
3. FAMILY AND FRIENDS WHO GENUINELY CARE FOR ME. ( IF I DON'T HAVE HEALTH AND PEACE, THEY WOULD WORRY FOR ME. )
4. INDIVIDUALISM- BREAKING FREE FROM CONVENTIONS AND HAVING MY OWN PERSONAL IDENTITY AND MY OWN VALUES.
5. PASSION FOR WHATEVER I'M DOING. ( i always want to do my best in everything i do.
Not to impress people. But for myself. )
6. STUDIES
7. ASSIGNMENTS AND WORK THAT ADD VALUE TO MY LIFE AND WOULD GET ME CLOSER TO MY AMBITIONS.
I want to live life for myself.
Love,
!Sherry
