Damn farnie! Must hear! haha!
Life should be great! And I'm happy almost everyday! But To think, some ppl say tat i have no conflicts in my life. haha.
There are, of coz.
Just that, they're not important. it's not like someone has died or sth.
u noe, when u're like 21, all those small tiny stuff don't really matter that much to u.
After all, once we turn old, the thing that matters most is how we can contribute to society in a positive way. NOT things like: people comparing u with others and saying, u noe u noe ''blah blah says she is hotter blah blah'', and wanting to support u for their own private votes and all? My surprise answer was simply ''Yeah. SHe is hotness''- i don't have the habit of putting people down to up my value. I appreciate beauty. really..i appreciate these things- as in u noe the fun-fun private votes and all; u guys are great and i noe u meant well and fun! okay! thank you for support ah! But i juz don't want myself to be compared.
thankz. Wadeva visual that u like seeing now does not belong to me but to Nature, and i would have to give nature back, as in, it would be devoured by nature ( agreed with a fren ) with time. Still a long way to go, but yeah. u get the idea. So it's something only temporal and only nice for-the-moment.
There's like people who type funny messages/ comments to criticize u and all. Well, hacking into your account too? TAgging on ur blog weird comments too ( but that's not the reason why i removed the tagboard, i removed it coz too much private details were there. ) The thing is, i don't remember me offending anyone? They juz came by to try to automatically offend me? hahahaha. And wad's my say? Is there anything can i do about it? No? So hahaha. Fuck it! HEck care and enjoy life man! hahaha!
Well they're open to comment rite, freedom of speech, so why should i spend a whole day thinking about those hate comments and such. Well, at least they spent their precious time being INTO me. haha. THat calls for celebration. Plus there would always be people who are beta than u, and i appreciate and admire people who are great. Coz they motivate me to do beta. Well looks and physique are not my forte. alrite? THat's why i am capitalizing on my other abilities instead. Why do u think i stay overnite and bring home design work to do if i tot i could live on my physical appearance ( in a decent sense ) alone. There have been distractions of coz, but i noe wad my dreams really are.
A fren of 11 yrs, due to some misunderstanding about some guy she hardly knew at all told me she hates me. The thing is, based on my character, and my style, i don't call guys up, unless i have special relations with him, he's a really good close fren, or unless i promised to, or it's a missed call, or it's for something important.
Frenz who know me well, know it! Yes. My middle name is hard-to-get. But i don't act IT. I am IT. Since young i've been like that. Don't take it to offence that i juz said that, it's juz that i'm different, and it's never my style to do that. THat's all. But guys make good frenz really. Coz they're usually not that judgmental, are great company, have great music taste, and are not very likely to backstab u. I'm thankful for my great galpals as well! Lurve ya all!
So i don't really see wad about she should worry. And because i don't feel guilty of anything, i told her, it's okay if she wanna give that frenship up due to a misunderstanding. I mean, wad's there to mean if the frenship is that fragile. hahahha. Wadeva really. But i don't hate her, i thanked her for our history. And well, it could be that she really likes the guy, that was why she was reacting that way. So be it.
I already had the vibe that she didn't want me to be around that day, so i kinda made myself ''not-appear''. And i never did talk to him about anything, coz how could i, and how would i, if i can't even remember his name to start with! He's a frennly guy, someone related to my industry- creative line. But noooo, we din contact each other at all after that meeting- the meeting with her, him and me, and only once!
But oh man, i'm not that kinda girl who would snatch-guys-away or back-stab-girls to gain favour from a guy. Those actions are damn uncool man.
SHould i feel even weirder that there are girlfrenz who restrict their boyfrenz to hang out with me and don't like me even THOUGH THEY'VE NEVER SPOKEN TO ME BEFORE? Like i said, and would repeat, aiyah, wadeva lah. haha. I don't self-pity, no. Because pitying oneself is disgusting. So i don't act sad and emo to attract attention from people. Wad i can handle i'd handle, wad i can't i'd call for help. And i'd only call for help if i think i need it. I've always been an individualist. And i stay true to myself till today. My appearance may have morphed over the years, but my character stays the same. To stay strong is to believe in yourself, even when the whole world doesn't believe in you. To stay strong is to fuck care about everything and live your life like u've never lived before, and learn from ur regrets and mistakes.
At the end of the day, these things as compared to many bigger things, like my dreams, my health- which is not very good; are really the things that should matter at all yeah. hahah. I would like to sing ''HEy Sarah Sarah, wadeva will be will be'' to those trival stuff. And i give more damn about people who give a damn about me being alive or dead.
Sometimes when u have a bloody difficult moment with yourself, a terrible moment, and flashes of things that matter to you came to your mind, u think about the people who really matter to u. And i guess God arranged these scary events, which happened to me, to remind me to appreciate life and to appreciate the people who really cared whether i'm alive or dead. THat's why i'm living my life like every sec matters to me. I mean during those moments, u won't go like ''i'm so glad that i have so many compliments, but now i'm suffering like shite!'', u'd probably be thinking....''how can i solidly help myself in times like this.''
Bigger things to worry about. PEACE. I urge people to cherish their lives and fully utilize their youth! Not bother about things that don't really matter at all at the end of the day. Think about those few names that u would speed-dial when u're in trouble/ when u know u're gonna have ur last breath. Those are the people who really matter.
Great weekends ahead! : ) And I'm happy today as well! Despite everything!
-Sherry-
